Loving Ourselves and Our Neighbors

Just as soon as I begin to think that I finally understand something, I learn about another perspective on the same subject and I find myself off balance again. I think the problem is that I’m always looking for black and white answers, and there are just so few of those in life.

The thing that caused some disequilibrium is the second great commandment – to love our neighbors as ourselves.

This morning the thought occurred to me that our love for ourselves is not necessarily a measuring stick for how much we need to love others. If I don’t love myself very much, it doesn’t excuse me from loving my neighbors. I can’t say, “I’m keeping that commandment, because I love my neighbors as much as I love myself. I just don’t love myself or my neighbors all that much, but at least it’s the same.”
Instead, I think the second commandment is a commandment to love ourselves, because when we truly love ourselves, love for others is a natural extension of that love. I’m not talking about the selfish kind of pride that is sometimes mistaken for self-love but rather a pure love that happens when we start to see ourselves the way God sees us.

When we learn who we really are in God’s eyes, it helps us to also see others from the same perspective.

I thought this was pretty good thinking, and then I read some C.S. Lewis. He had a different way of looking at the same commandment.

He says that we still love ourselves even when we do something wrong and we are quick to overlook our own shortcomings. By the same token, we should be quick at overlooking others’ faults and still love them.

But is it true that we still love ourselves when we sin?

According to Sterling W. Sill in his book The Miracle of Personality, when we sin against our own personality (“the inner man, the spirit or the real person”), it is difficult to love ourselves. We begin to feel inferior or unworthy. These feelings keep us from becoming who we really are.

Who we really are is the person God knows. Satan doesn’t want us to be that person and so he feeds us on feelings of inferiority and unworthiness. He would have us believe that all the terrible things we do are the sum total of our personalities, but it’s not true. In reality we are not any of those things. Sins we commit are just that – things we have done – they are not who we are. We can repent and we can be rid of them. Once we are rid of them, we can more clearly see our true selves.
I remember a poster that hung in my friend’s bedroom many years ago. It said, “God doesn’t make junk.” That includes all of us.

So maybe there is more than one way of looking at this commandment, and they can all be right. We can live our lives in such a way that we love ourselves and therefore love our neighbors as ourselves, and we can forgive our neighbors as easily as we forgive ourselves – remembering that we do need to forgive ourselves also. The following poem kind of sums up our need to live our lives so that we can do this.

Myself
Edgar Guest

I have to live with myself, and so,
I want to be fit for myself to know;
I want to be able as days go by,
Always to look myself straight in the eye;
I don't want to stand with the setting sun
And hate myself for the things I've done.


I don't want to keep on a closet shelf
A lot of secrets about myself,
And fool myself as I come and go
Into thinking that nobody else will know
The kind of man I really am;
I don't want to dress myself up in sham.


I want to go out with my head erect,
I want to deserve all men's respect;
But here in this struggle for fame and pelf,
I want to be able to like myself.
I don't want to think as I come and go
That I'm bluster and bluff and empty show.


I never can hide myself from me,
I see what others may never see,
I know what others may never know,
I never can fool myself- and so,
Whatever happens, I want to be
Self-respecting and conscience free.

LESSONS LEARNED FROM ALMA THE YOUNGER

• Even the vilest of sinners can repent and become clean.
• Wickedness does not bring happiness.
• Joy comes from living God's commandments.
• God won't force anyone to choose Him and His ways.

For whatever reason, Alma had a rebellious spirit, but it wasn't enough that he alone rebelled. He convinced many others to follow in his wicked ways. The scriptures tell us that he and the four sons of Mosiah were "the very vilest of sinners."

This caused Alma (the dad) and King Mosiah (a righteous king) much sorrow, and they prayed continually for their sons.

Then one day an angel appeared to them and basically told them to stop their wickedness.

Alma was so overcome by this that he fell to the ground and could not move or speak. The sons of Mosiah carried him to his father, and he stayed like that for two days and nights.

During this time, his father prayed and fasted for him.

After this he regained his strength, and he told all those gathered around him, "...after wading through much tribulation, repenting nigh unto death, the Lord in mercy hath seen fit to snatch me out of an everlasting burning, and I am born of God. My soul hath been redeemed from the gall of bitterness and bonds of iniquity. I was in the darkest abyss; but now I behold the marvelous light of God. My soul was racked with eternal torment; but I am snatched, and my soul is pained no more."

I have often wondered what caused Alma to repent. It couldn't have just been the visit of the angel, or everyone who sees an angel would repent. Laman and Lemuel both saw an angel and yet they continued in their wickedness. It couldn't have just been that his father was praying and fasting for him, because Lehi did the same for his sons.

For those two days when he was unable to move or speak, he allowed himself to be taught by the Spirit. He learned that everyone must repent and be changed from a "fallen state to a state of righteousness".

Satan has a remarkable way of convincing people that once they have done something wrong and they feel terrible, that they should do something awful again. It's his way of proving to them that they are of no value, and before long they are in the "darkest abyss" drowning in misery.

Fortunately for Alma, he believed the Spirit when he was told that he could repent. It wasn't an easy thing for him to do. He says that he "waded through much tribulation". Some of the words in the index that describe tribulation are: adversity, affliction, anguish, despair, grief, misery, sorrow, and suffering.

He was "nigh unto death". I imagine that the anguish was so great that he thought he would die.

Then, when God saw that he was truly repentant, He "snatched" him out of his misery and filled him with the light of the Spirit.

When we repent, I think "light" has three meanings

1. the light that helps us to see clearly
2. the light that causes us to feel warmth and comfort
3. the light that is associated with weight, because we are no longer weighted down by sin

Alma completely changed his life. He became a great missionary and brought many people to the truth of the gospel.

One of his sons, Corianton, chose wickedness over righteousness. This must have really grieved his father. He spoke to his son and tried to convince him of the error of his ways.

He said, "And now, my son, all men that are in a state of nature, or I would say, in a carnal state, are in the gall of bitterness and in the bonds of iniquity; they are without God in the world, and they have gone contrary to the nature of God; therefore, they are in a state contrary to the nature of happiness." (Alma 41:11)

He also told him, "Wickedness never was happiness." (Alma 41:10)

He would certainly know the truth of this statement from his own experience.

Now, compare this to the "exquisite joy" that was felt when Alma and the four sons of Mosiah met again and learned that they were all still living lives of righteousness.

One of the greatest gifts God gave us was our agency to choose whatever we want, but our agency doesn't allow us to choose the outcome.

"He granteth unto men according to their desire, whether it be unto death or unto life; yea, I know that he allotteth unto men, yea, decreeth unto them decrees which are unalterable, according to their wills, whether they be unto salvation or unto destruction."

"He that knoweth not good from evil is blameless; but he that knoweth good and evil, to him it is given according to his desires, whether he desireth good or evil, life or death, joy or remorse of conscience."

Alma told his son, Corianton, that we cannot live a life of sin and then expect to live a life of eternal happiness.

God knew that we wouldn't always choose righteously and so He sent His son, Jesus Christ, to atone for our sins so that we could choose to repent and start clean and fresh again. If we repent, God will remember our sins no more. It will be as if we never did them, and when we see Him again, our consciences will be free of the guilt.

If Alma the Younger, "the vilest of sinners", could do is, so can we.

IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE SENSE

If I offered to give someone a million dollars, they are most likely not going to say, "No, thank you. I know it's a good thing but I'm just not ready for it yet."

They are not going to wallow around in poverty a little bit longer before they enjoy the riches of a million dollars.

IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.

Yet, quite often when someone is offered something of far greater worth, they say those very words, "No, thank you. I know it's a good thing but I'm just not ready for it yet."

They want to wallow around in sin a little bit longer before they enjoy the riches of the gospel.

IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.

"Wickedness never was (is or will be) happiness." (See Alma 41:10 - words in parenthesis added)

Satan would have us believe that this statement is false by providing a temporary fix of happiness in exchange for sin, but it always comes back to bite us. Then when we are in the depths of misery, he sits back and laughs, "Ha! Ha! We got her again. She actually fell for it again. This is so easy."

Do people who choose righteousness over wickedness experience heartache? Yes. We live in an imperfect world - a world where the ailments of an imperfect body create its own sufferings - a world where imperfect people choose wickedness and experience the misery of those choices - heartache that is shared by those who love them - a heartache that is exacerbated because a way out of the misery is repeatedly offered and repeatedly refused.

Satan abandons his people and relishes in their misery.

Christ never abandons us. (See Alma 7:11-12; D&C 62:1; Heb. 2:18)

Why would anyone choose Satan's way?

IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE.

Optical Illusions

This morning I was relaxing in bed just thinking. I noticed something on my dresser that looked like a white paper plate. I wondered how it got there and why it was there. I couldn't figure it out.

On closer inspection, I could see that what I thought was the paper plate was actually the inside lid of my greeting card box I'd left there the day before.

After that, no matter how I looked at it, I could no longer see the paper plate. Yet, before I knew what it was, I was convinced that it was a paper plate and no matter how I looked at it, I couldn't see anything else.

I began to think about the relationship this can have to life, and I wondered, "How often are we sure that something is exactly what we think it is, but when we open our eyes to truly see, we discover that what we once thought really isn't?"

The Holy Ghost can help us see things the way they reallly are if we ask for his help.

And truth, once learned, makes it nearly impossible for us to see things the incorrect way we did before.

Peter and the Starcatchers

I just finished reading Peter and the Starcatchers. It was a story about Peter Pan and how he came to be. Anyway, I like to make analogies or connections to my life with books that I read, even when they are fiction or fantasy.

In this book bits of stars fell from heaven to the earth. If anyone touched even a little bit of the star - or even touched the container the star was in - they would be filled with a warm feeling of joy and happiness. They would feel peaceful and calm and so light that they could fly. The light also had power to heal physical wounds.

The length of exposure determined how long the effects remained. With longer exposure a person was more permanently changed.

I compared this to the light of Christ. When we are filled with the light of Christ, our souls are filled with happiness and joy and we feel peace and our burdens seem light.

The more we are exposed to this light, the more we can experience these feelings, and our bodies and spirits begin to take on a new countenance - the countenance of Christ.

Beautiful Pictures

http://crazybunnells.blogspot.com/
Go to this blog for a give away of a beautiful temple picture.

Trials

A young convert to the church in Mexico interrupted his schooling to go on a mission. When he returned, the school would not accept him back again. He had to attend another university that would only accept one year of his three years of study. (Ensign Sept. 2009)

The people of Ammon laid down their weapons of war when they embraced the truth of the gospel. When the Lamanites came to destroy them, they refused to raise their weapons against them. The Lamanites killed over 1000 of them.

Joseph Smith, a prophet of God, suffered being tarred and feathered multiple times. He suffered the loss of children. In Liberty Jail he was extremely sick from being poisoned and from being exposed to very cold temperatures. And ultimately, he suffered death for the gospel.

It doesn't seem fair. These were righteous people. And these are only a few examples. There are as many examples of righteous people suffering as there are righteous people. So why does God allow the suffering of His people?

The other day I asked my 5th grade class what it would be like if I gave them 1st grade work everyday. They said it would be easy. Then I asked them if they would learn anything from it. They all agreed that they wouldn't learn anything.

Then we talked about how they could expect challenges this year that would cause them to struggle and even to become frustrated, but if they didn't give up, their knowledge and skills would increase.

It's easy to see how that works in school. It's sometimes more difficult to accept in life. Too often we want 1st grade work when we are on a 5th grade level. We want life to be easy - to be free from trials and sorrows.

But a wise Heavenly Father knows that we'd never learn and grow if life were easy. We'd never turn to Him for help if we never needed help. If we never turned to HIm, we would never come to know Him.

I read an article somewhere once that said something like this: Fair means giving each individual what he/she needs.

I often have to remind myself that God knows all from the beginning to the end. My own vision is extremely limited. What may not seem fair is probably exactly what I need to help me to learn and to grow.

Some of our trials are the direct result of our own choices. Some are the result of other's choices, and some are just the result of living on this earth.

No matter the cause of our trials, a loving Father in Heaven can use these trials, if we let Him, to guide us in learning so that we can one day return and live with Him.

"This is my work and my glory, to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man." (Moses 1:39)

His full time job is to help us return to Him. We are in a school of life. We are going to experience all kinds of struggles and sorrows, but if we will turn to the greatest teacher of us all, He will teach us everything we need to learn.